Paramount CEO David Ellison just signed an antitrust settlement guaranteeing theatrical releases for five years. Five years. Not six. Not indefinitely. Five years of pretending movies belong in theaters before the agreement expires and everyone can admit streaming was the plan all along.
Warner Bros Discovery bought this. They looked at a contract with an expiration date and thought "this solves our concerns." That's like accepting a prenup that self-destructs the moment your spouse gets bored. The settlement exists specifically because it ends. If Paramount wanted theaters forever they wouldn't need a f*cking timer on the promise.
Hollywood is skeptical because Hollywood can read a calendar. Year six is when the theaters become Spirit Halloween locations. Year six is when David Ellison sends a memo explaining that consumer preferences evolved and theatrical windows no longer align with shareholder value creation. Year six is when every Paramount film debuts on Paramount+ at 3am on a Tuesday with zero marketing.
But sure, WBD got what they wanted. They got five years of certainty in an industry where five years might as well be five centuries. They got a legally binding agreement that Paramount will definitely do the thing they were going to do anyway until it becomes inconvenient. They got a participation trophy for negotiating the least enforceable promise in antitrust history.
This is the corporate equivalent of your girlfriend saying she'll definitely stay with you through the end of the lease.
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