Pennsylvania requested emergency CDC support for a measles outbreak. The state also demanded the agency officially recognize that people died from measles. As if the CDC was sitting in Atlanta pretending measles deaths were a hoax.
This marks one of the country's largest and deadliest measles outbreaks. Measles. The disease we solved in the 1960s with a vaccine that costs less than a latte. But here we are. Pennsylvania begging the federal government to acknowledge that yes, the rash can kill you.
The state felt compelled to make a formal request for death recognition. Like the CDC was going to respond with "those people died of something else, probably anxiety about missing market hours."
Somewhere a day trader who refuses to vaccinate his kids because he read a Facebook post is refreshing his Robinhood account wondering why his SPY calls are down. He's got theories about government overreach. He's got thoughts about natural immunity. What he doesn't have is a basic understanding of exponential growth, which explains both the outbreak and his portfolio.
The CDC will now deploy teams to Pennsylvania. They'll bring vaccines, data analysis, and the crushing disappointment of having to explain germ theory to adults in 2026. The measles virus has a reproduction number around 15. For comparison, your portfolio's reproduction number is zero. It's not making copies of itself. It's just dying.
Pennsylvania apparently needed to specify that deaths occurred. As if without official recognition, those people were just sleeping really hard.
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