AI stocks plunged last week. Retail traders who bought the top six months ago finally checked their portfolios. The screaming could be heard from three states away.
Inflation heated up. Nobody saw this coming except every person who watched the government print money for four consecutive years. But sure, let's act surprised that prices went up. The shocked faces on CNBC were almost convincing.
The article promises opportunities. Translation: new ways to lose money now that your AI plays are down 40%. Banks had solid earnings, which means absolutely nothing for your portfolio unless you bought bank stocks. You didn't. You bought whatever Reddit told you to buy at 2 AM on a Tuesday.
The "rotation beyond tech" is financial media speak for "the thing that was working stopped working, so now we're pretending we always liked the thing that's working instead." It's the investment equivalent of claiming you were never really that into your ex-girlfriend. Everyone knows you're lying.
Here's what actually happened: people who bought AI stocks at the peak because they read one article about ChatGPT are now bag-holding while professional traders moved to banks three weeks ago. The pros call this "finding opportunities." Retail calls it "why is my account red."
The market rattled. Stocks sank. Opportunities emerged. These are all ways of saying prices moved and nobody knows why or where they're going next. But writing that doesn't get clicks. Writing that you've "found opportunities" makes readers think you possess secret knowledge. You don't. Neither do they.
Bank earnings were solid because banks make money when people borrow money and inflation means people need to borrow more money to buy the same shit. This isn't complex. Your AI stocks dropped because they were never worth what you paid for them.
The opportunity they found was selling you the next bag to hold.
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash
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