The Senate confirmed Dr. Erica Schwartz as CDC director on Wednesday. Trump finally gets a health official through. Only took him how many tries? The article says "repeated failed attempts." That's the kind of phrasing you use when someone's been striking out at a T-ball game.
Schwartz now runs the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Her job is preventing diseases. Good luck with that, Dr. Schwartz. Americans can't even prevent themselves from buying leveraged ETFs they don't understand. You think they're going to wash their hands?
The CDC has a $15 billion budget and 11,000 employees. None of them will stop Gerald from Tulsa from licking shopping cart handles because he read on Twitter that it boosts immunity. Gerald also holds 47 shares of a pharmaceutical penny stock that hasn't traded above $0.30 since 2019. He believes in natural selection, just not the way Darwin meant it.
This is being called a "rare win" for the administration. Rare win. That's what you tell a kid when he finally uses the toilet instead of his pants. Congratulations on doing the basic function of government: filling a position that's been empty for months while diseases just kept existing anyway.
Schwartz takes over during a time when public health guidance has the same credibility as a Reddit due diligence post. Both involve a lot of charts. Both contradict themselves every six weeks. Both inspire passionate arguments from people who can't define the terms they're using.
But retail traders don't care about the CDC. They care about whether this news moves their biotech calls. It doesn't. The CDC doesn't approve drugs. That's the FDA. Different agency. But don't worry, they'll figure that out right after they figure out what implied volatility means.
Dr. Schwartz probably spent years in medical school and public health policy to get here. She could've just bought GameStop at $4 and retired.
Photo by Olek Buzunov on Unsplash
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