John R. Curtis, senator, party affiliation listed as "unknown-??" in the disclosure (democracy is going great), filed paperwork on June 30th informing the public that he purchased somewhere between $100,001 and $250,000 worth of a UBS product called — and please read this slowly — a Trigger Contingent note. Ten percent coupon. Matures 2029. Issued out of London. By a Swiss bank.
The STOCK Act requires lawmakers to disclose trades over $50,000 within 45 days. Curtis filed on day 28. Gold star. Full marks for paperwork. No notes on the instrument itself, which sounds like something a Bond villain names his yacht.
"Trigger Contingent" is a structured product that pays you handsomely right up until a specific market condition causes it not to. It is, in a very real sense, a bet that nothing bad happens. From a sitting U.S. senator. In 2026. Incredible confidence.
We are not saying anything. We are simply reading the disclosure aloud into the void and letting you sit with it.
The chart is all that matters. The senator, apparently, prefers the term sheet.
— Phil McCandlestick, Panic Sell Weekly
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