Strand stocks 2.5 million books. Nobody read the one about loan eligibility.
Nancy Bass Wyden owns the store. Her husband is Oregon Sen. Ron Wyden. Congress banned second-draw PPP loans for businesses controlled by a lawmaker's spouse. She applied anyway. In February 2021, the store sought $932,350.
The application had a checkbox. She certified that no member of Congress's spouse held a controlling interest. U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro's office says that was knowingly and materially false. The Strand blames its accountant and its bank for missing the rule change.
Two professionals missed it. The owner signed anyway. The senator's office says he and his wife don't discuss her business. Marriage is beautiful.
Now the math. Borrow $932,350. Settle for $1,482,560. That's a $550,210 premium for the privilege of being audited by Jeanine Pirro. No hedge fund has ever underperformed that creatively. Your brother-in-law's options account is jealous.
The Strand is a landmark. Founded in 1927 with $300 saved and $300 borrowed. Ben Bass slept on a cot in the store. His granddaughter got a loan she couldn't have and signed a form saying she could.
Retail traders will read this and nod. They also check the box without reading it. They also blame the accountant. The accountant is usually a Discord user named BagHolder420.
The Strand sells tote bags. It could have sold a few thousand more. Instead, it bought the most expensive book in its history: a very long chapter on reading before you sign.
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