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The Noise

  595 posts

Sardonic takes on the headlines. Every CNBC article, stripped of the hype and served straight — no spin, just what actually happened.

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  Oct 29, 2026

GDP Up 3.4%, Inflation Also Up, Your Portfolio Down Anyway

The personal consumption expenditures price index was projected to increase 0.5% in September for an annual rate of 3.7%, according to the Dow Jones consensus....

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  Oct 29, 2026

Midterm Jitters: The Only Thing Retail Traders Time Perfectly

Investors are anxious about the 2026 midterms. Here's what historical S&P 500 data shows happened before and after past elections....

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  Oct 29, 2026

Lilly Says 90% of Americans Could Still Get Fat Drugs

Eli Lilly reported that sales of obesity drug Zepbound and diabetes treatment Mounjaro surged again in the third quarter....

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  Oct 29, 2026

DoorDash Buys Instacart So Your Burrito Can Meet Your Broccoli

The deal unites two delivery giants under one roof, with DoorDash's focus on restaurants and Instacart's robust stable of grocery partners....

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  Oct 29, 2026

WNBA Schedules Championship for Your Lunch Break, Fixes Nothing

Many different options were considered before the WNBA decided to move Thursday's Game 6 of the WNBA Finals to a midday time slot....

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  Oct 29, 2026

GDP Grows 3.4%, Your Portfolio Remains Decorative

The personal consumption expenditures price index was projected to increase 0.5% in September for an annual rate of 3.7%, according to the Dow Jones consensus....

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