, September 24, 2026

The Noise

  817 posts

Sardonic takes on the headlines. Every CNBC article, stripped of the hype and served straight — no spin, just what actually happened.

New here? Start with the Indicator Legend to understand how to read our charts.

  Sep 04, 2026

OpenAI Warns Hackers About Cyber Tool, Then Gives It To Hackers

OpenAI said companies participating in its application-based cybersecurity program will be first to get access to Astra....

Read More

  Sep 04, 2026

Treasury Department Discovers New Way to F*ck Rich People Who Hate Taxes

The Treasury has proposed regulations that would strip thousands of private schools of their tax-exempt status and threaten a valuable tax break for donations....

Read More

  Sep 04, 2026

Detroit Suddenly Remembers What National Security Means

Major automakers in the U.S. are urging Congress to ban the domestic sale, import and manufacturing of Chinese connected vehicles, hardware and software....

Read More

  Sep 04, 2026

Lululemon Discovers Yoga Pants Don't Defy Gravity

Lululemon posted another quarter of disappointing results and a sales slowdown as the company struggles to turn its business around....

Read More

  Sep 04, 2026

Citi Adds $600 to Credit Card Nobody Asked For

The additional benefits far outweigh the cost increase, but the lounge access remains the selling point for this card....

Read More

  Sep 03, 2026

Economists Discover One Variable That Could Affect a Number

Some economists see one variable that could hold back Friday's jobs report....

Read More

The Noise is free. If Phil's commentary made you laugh or think, he accepts tips. No pressure — the sarcasm was complimentary.

Leave a Tip