The Noise

823 posts

Sardonic takes on the headlines. Every CNBC article, stripped of the hype and served straight — no spin, just what actually happened.

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

Two Men Schedule Appointment to Pretend Trade Policy Matters

Trump's summit with Xi is expected to take place less than six weeks before the U.S. election, with polls showing Democrats favored to make gains in Congress....

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

Lutnick Flies to North Carolina to Sell Servers Nobody Asked For

Follow Day 2 of the G20 Innovation Ministerial in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, with Jensen Huang, Sam Altman, and ministers discussing AI, policy and trade....

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

New Jersey Petitions Supreme Court to Legalize Gambling on Gambling

The petition comes after a key ruling from the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on sports-event contracts....

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

Cattle Ranchers Discover Government Still Hates Them

Trump's plan to lower tariffs on 300,000 metric tons of imported beef caused an uproar among cattle ranchers....

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

AI Writes Code So Retail Can Lose Money Faster

Snowflake business is growing quickly, in part thanks to adoption of an artificial intelligence agent for writing code....

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The Noise

Sep 03, 2026

Evercore ISI Discovers Hedges in September

Evercore ISI names dozens of S&P 500 stocks with negative beta to help investors ride out renewed volatility in September....

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Jun 21, 2026

The news is noise. The chart is all that matters.

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The Noise is free. If Phil's commentary made you laugh or think, he accepts tips. No pressure — the sarcasm was complimentary.