Tesla posted truck specifications on X. Not a press release. Not a conference. A f*cking tweet. This is how you enter the European freight market when you're seven years late and the only people still excited about your timelines are the same guys who thought Cybertruck would cost $39,900.
The Semi was announced in 2017. Production was supposed to start in 2019. Then 2020. Then 2021. Then whenever Elon felt like it. Now it's heading to Europe, a continent that spent the last seven years buying actual trucks from companies that understand delivery dates aren't just vibes.
European freight operators are famously patient people. They love waiting. They built their entire logistics infrastructure around the hope that maybe someday an American EV company would grace them with a vehicle that may or may not exist in sufficient quantities to matter. Every German hauling company has a dedicated staff position called Vice President of Hoping Real Hard.
The specs are out now. Range. Weight. Charging time. All the numbers you need to make purchasing decisions about a product you can't actually purchase in any meaningful volume. This is perfect for the guy who bought TSLA at $380 because he saw a Semi drive past a warehouse once and decided this was DD enough.
Delays don't matter when you're disrupting an industry. Timelines are for companies that respect their customers. Tesla respects the grift. They've mastered the art of announcing the same product every eighteen months to a fresh wave of idiots who somehow missed the previous six announcements.
The European freight market has been waiting with bated breath, which is German for they bought Volvo trucks and moved on with their lives.
Photo by Michael Förtsch on Unsplash
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