The Fed raised rates. Financial journalists discovered yields exist. Experts now recommend money market funds and Treasury bills with the urgency of a man who just learned water is wet.
Here's what happened. The Fed did the thing everyone knew they'd do. Rates went up. Cash suddenly pays interest. Retail traders who spent two years buying SPACs at 47x revenue now get to earn 5% annually on money they should've parked there in the first place. Revolutionary stuff.
The experts are stashing their cash in T-bills. Not because T-bills are brilliant. Because everything else is worse. That's the pitch. "Where should I put my money?" "Somewhere that loses to inflation slightly slower." Inspiring.
Money market funds yield about 5%. Treasury bills yield roughly the same. The difference between them matters to exactly three people, and two of them are lying. But financial media needs 800 words on this, so here come the experts explaining the nuances of parking your car in spot A versus spot B of the same garage.
The article promises to tell you where experts are finding yields. They're finding them in the same place everyone finds them. The government. The most exotic recommendation here is a four-week T-bill. Might as well tell people about this hot new restaurant called McDonald's.
Retail traders spent 2021 explaining why cash was trash. They bought Cathie Wood's tears in ETF form. They swore bonds were for cowards. Now they're reading articles about optimal savings account strategies like they didn't mock this exact behavior thirty months ago.
The Fed raises rates and suddenly every dipsh*t with a brokerage account becomes a fixed-income scholar. They're comparing basis points. They're learning what duration means. They're one YouTube video away from explaining the yield curve to their barber.
Cool. Park your money at 5% and watch purchasing power erode at 4%. Financial independence by 85.
Photo by Roman Manshin on Unsplash
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