A federal judge tossed the Justice Department's lawsuit over Alaska's two Dan Sullivans. The DOJ filed a notice of appeal about an hour later. That's the fastest anyone in government has ever moved on anything.
Let me explain the setup. Senator Dan S. Sullivan, Republican, is on the ballot. So is Dan J. Sullivan, a retired teacher from Petersburg. Mary Peltola, the Democrat, is running against both of them.
The DOJ wanted to delay certification if the senator loses. It also wanted an investigation into voter intent. Judge Sharon Gleason said no. Two days before Election Day.
Think about the confusion argument. The government says a voter might walk into a booth, see two men named Dan Sullivan, and panic. Fair. These are the same voters who pick a mortgage rate by vibes.
I respect the plan. Lose the election, then sue the ballot. It's a stop-loss order on democracy.
Retail traders do this too. They buy a stock called Dan Corp, thinking it's Dan Holdings. Then they file a complaint with the universe.
The judge cited a failure to establish redressability. That's lawyer for "even if we agreed with you, we can't fix it." I've said the same thing to every guy holding calls on a meme stock.
A poll released Friday shows Peltola up two points. Two points. That's inside the margin of error. It's also the same edge a retail trader has when he says he's "up on the week."
The DOJ will keep appealing. Dan J. will keep being named Dan J. The Dan Sullivans will keep being Dan Sullivans.
Somewhere a man named Dan Sullivan is trying to buy a domain name. Good luck, Dan. You were never going to get the dot-com.
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