Versant just paid $530 million for Full Swing. Full Swing makes golf simulators. These are screens you hit golf balls at when you're too important to go outside.
The press release says this expands Versant's "nontraditional media assets." That's what we're calling it now. A television in a rich guy's basement that tells him he shanked a seven iron is a media asset. The same way a vending machine is a content platform. The same way a guy yelling at pigeons is a podcaster.
Versant wants to diversify away from cable television. Smart. Cable is dying. So they bought a business that requires a three-car garage and a 401k that doesn't make you nervous when you check it. They traded one dying medium for another one that never lived.
Full Swing costs more than most people will earn in ten lifetimes. The customers are dentists who read one article about launch angle and now can't shut the f*ck up about swing plane. These are the same men who own boats they use twice. The same men who bought Pelotons that now hold laundry. The same men who will absolutely not get $530 million worth of value out of this acquisition.
Retail traders saw this headline and thought it meant something. They opened their brokerage apps. They squinted at tickers they'd never heard of. They wondered if golf simulator companies trade on the NASDAQ. They Googled "how to invest in golf." They are currently losing money on a uranium ETF they bought in 2023.
Versant could have lit $530 million on fire and gotten the same diversification benefit. At least fire is warm.
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