Three unnamed dividend stocks got blessed by unnamed Wall Street analysts who performed "in-depth research" and "thorough analysis" which is apparently newsworthy now. The bar has dropped so low it's underground.
These experts studied financials. They analyzed factors. They did their jobs and someone wrote a press release about it like they'd cured cancer. Next week we'll celebrate a janitor for mopping.
The stocks pay dividends. Higher returns are promised. No specific tickers mentioned. No analyst names provided. No actual research shared. Just trust the experts because they have Bloomberg terminals and you have Robinhood.
Retail traders will read this headline and feel that familiar tingle. The one that says "I'm early to something big." They're not early. They're late to a marketing campaign disguised as financial journalism. The analysts already bought six months ago. Their clients bought three months ago. You're reading about it now because someone needs an exit.
The beautiful part is the phrase "backed by in-depth research." As opposed to what? Analysts who just throw darts? Actually yes, that's exactly the alternative, and the dart throwers have better track records. There's academic studies on this. The monkeys beat the experts. But the monkeys don't write reports with enough words to make it look legitimate.
Dividend stocks for higher returns. That's the pitch. Forget that dividends get taxed. Forget that companies paying dividends admit they have no better use for the cash. Forget that growth stocks outperformed dividend stocks in fourteen of the last twenty years. Remember only that an analyst said something and it made you feel smart for thirty seconds.
The analysts remain nameless. The stocks remain nameless. The research remains unshared. But sure, load up your portfolio based on a headline that contains less information than a fortune cookie.
Photo by Patrick Weissenberger on Unsplash
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