Apple crossed five trillion dollars in market cap. Congratulations to everyone who owns a rectangle that costs more than a used Honda.
The company makes phones. It made phones last year. It will make phones next year. Somewhere between those phones, investors decided the number should go up by another trillion. The logic is airtight.
Apple and Nvidia have been trading the top spot all summer while investors debate which company will dominate AI. Apple's AI strategy involves Siri still not understanding basic commands after thirteen years. Nvidia's strategy involves selling chips to companies that burn billions training models to write emails nobody wants to read. Pick your fighter.
Retail traders are now buying fractional shares of Apple at all-time highs because a guy on YouTube told them the chart looked bullish. The chart looked bullish yesterday too. And last month. And in 2019. Turns out lines going up and to the right is not actually a strategy, but nobody tell them that. They're having fun.
The stock moved three percent on the news that it crossed an arbitrary round number that means nothing. Five trillion is not different from 4.9 trillion except that it has fewer syllables. But CNBC needed to fill eight hours of airtime, so here we are.
Apple's PE ratio sits at 34. For a company growing revenue at six percent annually. The math checks out if you failed seventh grade.
Tim Cook will celebrate by announcing another product nobody asked for while wearing the same outfit he's worn since 2011. The stock will go up another two percent. Analysts will upgrade their price targets. Your neighbor will text you about finally getting into investing. The cycle continues.
Five trillion buys you a company that removed the headphone jack and called it innovation.
Leave a Comment