Elon Musk spent $224 million in Texas. Democrats won the Senate race and the governor's race anyway.
His reaction on X: "Guess my election-interfering space lasers didn't work this time." Funny. Also the most expensive punchline in the history of punchlines. Roughly $224 million per joke.
Reid Hoffman had notes. "We should get money out of politics," he wrote, accusing Musk of buying "authoritarian clowns." Then he defended his own donations to Democrats. Money is a menace when the other guy's wallet is bigger. When yours is, it's civic duty.
Richard Branson joined in on LinkedIn. He felt "embarrassed" by the billions tech entrepreneurs and hedge fund managers spent. He gave nothing that met the reporting threshold. Bold stance. Like a man who skipped the buffet condemning the buffet.
Bill Ackman went on CNBC before polls closed. His concern: slowing AI could cost America its edge. "Practically speaking, we can't slow down." Said the man who has never once been slowed down by a poll.
The market didn't care about any of this. The Dow jumped more than 1,500 points, its best day since April 2025. Amazon rose 7%. Jeff Bezos gained $13.7 billion before lunch. Musk lost $34.5 billion over the same stretch.
Think about that. Musk lost more in one morning than he spent in Texas, and then some. His space lasers were available for comment.
Trump Media dropped 24.5% to an all-time low. If you held it, I'm told the chart looks like a ski jump. Technically, it's a pattern. I call it "Gravity."
Retail traders will read all this and try to trade the billionaire feud. They will buy Tesla calls because Hoffman was rude on X. They will sell Amazon because Branson felt feelings. Their account will hit zero by Friday.
Billionaires want money out of politics. Fine. Start with the $224 million, Elon. I hear it's not working in Texas.
Photo by Shlok Jethwa on Unsplash
Leave a Comment