Cramer looked at his calendar. Saw September. Declared it historically difficult.
Every September is historically difficult once it ends. That's how history works. You wait for the thing to happen, then you point at it and say it happened before. Brilliant stuff. Newton died for this.
The man gets paid to tell you Wall Street will "navigate" a tough month. Navigate. Like there's a f*cking steering wheel. Like you can turn left at volatility and avoid the bad returns by taking surface streets. Retail traders hear this and think they've learned something. They open their apps. They check futures at 4am. They navigate themselves straight into a margin call.
A "relatively quiet week" is coming, Cramer says. Relative to what? A loud week? What does that even mean? Are Tuesdays going to whisper? Is the S&P going to tiptoe past resistance levels so it doesn't wake the bonds?
Here's what actually happens this week: stocks go up or they go down or they go sideways. Then next week Cramer tells you what happened. Then the week after that he tells you what might happen next. It's a perfect system. He is never wrong because he is never specific enough to be wrong.
The chart doesn't care that September has a reputation. The chart doesn't read CNBC. The chart doesn't know what month it is. Your portfolio is not being attacked by a calendar. It's being attacked by your decision to listen to someone explain upcoming weather patterns for money.
Somewhere right now a guy with $847 in Robinhood is setting alerts based on this segment, ready to navigate the difficult historical September, confident that knowing it's tough makes him prepared for the toughness.
He will lose money in October instead.
Photo by Fons Heijnsbroek on Unsplash
Leave a Comment