Witkoff and Kushner landed in Moscow this week to negotiate peace in a war that started five years ago. Five years. That's longer than most retail traders hold a winning position before panic-selling at a loss.
Trump's peace push lost momentum because the U.S. got distracted by its own war with Iran for six months. Nothing says "we're committed to ending global conflict" like pausing one peace negotiation because you started a different war. It's like a guy who cancels his anger management class because he got into a fistfight on the way there.
Kushner's back in the peace business. Remember when he solved Middle East peace? Neither does the Middle East. But sure, Russia and Ukraine will be different. Fifth year's the charm.
The timeline here is f*cking spectacular. Russia invaded Ukraine. Trump said he'd end it fast. Then America went to war with Iran. Now we're circling back to Ukraine like it's an email we forgot to answer. "Sorry for the delayed response, been busy with other wars."
Witkoff and Kushner are the diplomatic equivalent of showing up to a house fire five years late with a garden hose. The house is gone. The lot's been rezoned. Someone built a Starbucks. But here they come with their little hose and their big ideas.
Retail traders are watching this and thinking it'll move the ruble. They're checking their Robinhood accounts right now, wondering if they should buy Russian ETFs. They shouldn't. They will anyway.
The war is in its fifth year and we sent the guy who negotiated Middle East peace that lasted until roughly lunchtime.
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