The Department of Justice announced it will not prosecute former Fed Chair Jerome Powell over a headquarters renovation that went so poorly it required an inspector general investigation. The Fed's own watchdog concluded there were no grounds for criminal charges. This means Powell successfully avoided jail time for the high crime of hiring the wrong contractor.
Retail traders spent the last three years convinced the Fed was manipulating markets through interest rate policy. Turned out the real scandal was tile selection. The inspector general report detailed cost overruns and project mismanagement at the Fed's headquarters. Powell's fingerprints were on procurement decisions that would make a small-town mayor blush. But the DOJ reviewed the findings and decided not to pursue charges.
Imagine explaining this to your portfolio. You bought calls because you thought Powell was engineering a soft landing. He was actually engineering a bathroom. The technical setup looked bullish on the daily chart. Powell looked confused about granite countertops. You drew trendlines. He drew the ire of government auditors over construction delays.
The confirmation from DOJ closes the matter entirely. No charges. No further investigation. Powell walks away with his reputation intact and his freedom secure. The renovation remains mismanaged. The headquarters remains expensive. Your account remains down forty-seven percent since you started trading based on FOMC minutes.
The Fed controls monetary policy for the largest economy in human history. Powell couldn't control a general contractor. But sure, keep refreshing his testimony transcripts for alpha. I'm certain the man who botched a building project has flawless insight into employment data. The market already forgot this story existed. You should too, right after you close that position you opened because someone on Twitter said Powell's tone sounded dovish.
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