Donald Trump Jr., whose job qualifications include being born and not going to prison, now advises two prediction market platforms. The New York Times reports he told Republican state attorneys general to stop regulating his employers. That's called vertical integration in the influence-peddling industry.
The president's son moonlights as a shill for betting sites where you can wager on whether the next Fed chair will have a pulse. These platforms let degenerates lose money on election outcomes instead of sports outcomes. Progress.
Junior apparently felt compelled to protect this nascent industry from the regulatory overstep of, checks notes, state-level law enforcement officials in his own party. Nothing says free market principles like the president's kid telling attorneys general which laws to ignore. Adam Smith would be so f*cking proud.
Prediction markets bill themselves as wisdom-of-the-crowds platforms that aggregate information more efficiently than polls or experts. In reality they're just another venue for retail traders to donate their paychecks to sharper operators while feeling intellectually superior about it. You're not trading volatility, Brad. You're funding someone's yacht.
The real innovation here is hiring the first son as an advisor. Why lobby through normal channels when you can just have the president's offspring make a phone call? It's the same business model as a consulting firm, except you skip the part where you pretend to offer services.
Republican attorneys general received this advice and now face a choice: enforce gambling laws in their states or take career guidance from a man whose previous accomplishments include tweeting and killing an elephant. The market eagerly awaits their decision on who regulates whom.
Somewhere a 22-year-old with a Robinhood account just put his rent money on whether Trump wins Iowa, convinced he's discovered alpha, unaware he's just the exit liquidity for Don Jr.'s advisory fees.
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