A researcher in Russia's Irkutsk region died from the plague. Not metaphorical plague. Not supply chain issues or inflation concerns. Actual bubonic f*cking plague. The kind that killed a third of Europe when people thought bathing caused disease.
Nearly 200 people are now under medical observation. They were exposed. To plague. In 2026. While you were checking if your meme stock had another dead cat bounce, someone in Siberia was handling bacteria that predates the printing press.
The researcher was working with it. On purpose. As a job. Imagine going to career day and telling kids you study the thing that turned bodies black and made them vomit blood in the streets. Imagine the salary negotiation. "We can offer you competitive pay and exposure to pathogens that depopulated medieval cities." Exposure being the operative word.
Now 200 people get to wait and see if they develop fever and swollen lymph nodes because one lab tech had a really bad day at work. They are under medical observation. That is the clinical term for sitting in a room wondering if you will start coughing up pieces of your own lungs.
The market did not react to this news. No plague-related ETFs dumped. No biotech stocks rallied. Your portfolio remains unaffected by the fact that someone just died from a disease older than the concept of a stock market. Which should tell you everything you need to know about how useful financial news actually is.
Retail traders will still check their accounts seventeen times today while 200 Russians pray antibiotics work better than they did in 1347.
Photo by Boris Busorgin on Unsplash
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