, September 22, 2026

The Noise

  803 posts

Sardonic takes on the headlines. Every CNBC article, stripped of the hype and served straight β€” no spin, just what actually happened.

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  Sep 08, 2026

WaFd Stockholders Accept $3.9 Billion Participation Trophy

EverBank has agreed to acquire WaFd, a smaller ⁠bank in the Pacific Northwest, in a $3.9 billion reverse ​merger transaction, ​the ​companies said on Monday....

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  Sep 08, 2026

Department of Energy Discovers Time Is Linear

The Department of Energy has given grants to small battery tech companies. But the U.S. has a few years to do what took China decades....

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  Sep 08, 2026

UBS Discovers Lockheed Martin Makes Weapons For Money

The bank upgraded Lockheed Martin to buy from neutral....

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  Sep 08, 2026

Novartis Loses $30 Billion Because Science Is Hard

Shares of Novartis tanked on Tuesday after results from its del-desiran drug trial disappointed investors....

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  Sep 08, 2026

ASML Sells $380 Million Microscopes to Two Companies That Already Buy Microscopes

TSMC and Samsung will adopt ASML’s High NA EUV tools for advanced chipmaking as AI drives demand for smaller, more complex semiconductors....

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  Sep 08, 2026

Canada Discovers Ctrl+C Ctrl+V Also Works On Trade Policy

Duties on U.S. steel and aluminum products have doubled to 50% as a war of words between Washington and Ottawa continues....

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