,

The Noise

  622 posts

Sardonic takes on the headlines. Every CNBC article, stripped of the hype and served straight — no spin, just what actually happened.

New here? Start with the Indicator Legend to understand how to read our charts.

  Nov 03, 2026

JPMorgan Predicts Market Will Do Something After Election Day

History shows elections are positive for stocks. But a blue wave, Republicans holding on or a split Congress carry different implications for the market....

Read More

  Nov 03, 2026

SPCX: Now Available to Children Who Can't Legally Sign Up for Anything

Eligible Trump Account holders will begin receiving donated shares of SpaceX stock in December, President and COO Gwynne Shotwell said in a post on X....

Read More

  Nov 02, 2026

Judge Can Read a Calendar. DOJ Cannot.

Judge Zia Faruqui suggested the prosecution of ex-officials Nikki Floris and Bradley Benavides was rushed to come out ahead of the midterm election....

Read More

  Nov 02, 2026

Midterms Hit Defense, Healthcare, Crypto, AI. Your Portfolio Hit First.

Democratic gains in Congress could bring tougher oversight of major companies and shift billions of dollars in federal spending and regulatory policy....

Read More

  Nov 02, 2026

Social Security Trust Fund: Ticker Symbol RIP

The latest projections show Social Security may have to cut retirement benefits in six years. Here's what may happen if Congress doesn't prevent that....

Read More

  Nov 02, 2026

CoreWeave Investors Quit. Paul Meeks Brings Snacks.

Despite CoreWeave's steep sell-off and mounting debt concerns, contrarian technology investor Paul Meeks sees significant upside as AI infrastructure demand surges....

Read More
↑

The Noise is free. If Phil's commentary made you laugh or think, he accepts tips. No pressure — the sarcasm was complimentary.

Leave a Tip