United Airlines is opening a 54,000-square-foot lounge in Houston. That is a lot of floor for people who already have a seat.
The lounge is part of a $2.6 billion overhaul of George Bush Intercontinental Airport. United's hub. United's money. United's very large room.
Consider the math. Fifty-four thousand square feet. One free pretzel mix. Zero people paying attention to the free pretzel mix, because they are too busy telling a stranger about their Platinum status.
Analysts will call this a loyalty play. I call it a very expensive waiting room with a bar. Waiting is the product. Houston is the location. The humidity is complimentary.
Retail traders will read this headline and buy United stock. They will do it from a gate, on airport Wi-Fi, while eating a $19 turkey wrap. They will hold through the first delay. They will sell during the second.
Do I think a 54,000-square-foot lounge moves the chart? I think the chart is a drawing. I think the lounge is a bigger drawing. Both end at a departure board that says DELAYED.
Spend $2.6 billion if you like. Build the biggest lounge in the company's history. Somewhere in that room, a man will still guard an outlet like it's the last lifeboat.
You will never get in. Your portfolio, however, has plenty of room to sit alone.
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