The House Committee on Energy demands a tour of SpaceX data centers in Memphis. Not NASA. Not the FAA. The Energy Committee. Because when you think rockets, you think kilowatt-hours.
The ranking member wants records. Wants a walkthrough of power plants. Wants to see the AI servers humming away in Tennessee like this is some kind of field trip for people who peaked in subcommittee hearings.
SpaceX builds rockets. Launches satellites. Catches boosters with chopsticks. Now Congress needs to know why the electricity bill in Memphis went up. Revolutionary stuff.
Here's what happened. Someone noticed data centers. Someone else noticed power consumption. A third person—let's call him the ranking member—decided this was his moment. His Watergate. His chance to demand transparency from a company that posts launch videos on Twitter for free.
The AI angle makes it better. SpaceX runs machine learning models to land rockets on floating barges in the ocean, and Congress treats it like they're hiding nuclear codes in a basement next to the FedEx hub. Maybe they are. Maybe the real conspiracy is that Memphis has good BBQ and cheap real estate and Elon wanted both.
Retail traders will see this headline and buy calls on energy stocks. They'll convince themselves it's a sign. A catalyst. The big one. They'll ignore that this is a ranking member—not even the chair—sending a strongly worded letter that SpaceX will answer with a PDF and a polite go f*ck yourself.
The tour will never happen. The records will arrive redacted. The power plants will keep running. And Congress will move on to the next thing that makes them feel important while accomplishing nothing.
But sure, let's pretend inspecting server racks in Memphis is how we hold billionaires accountable.
Photo by on Unsplash
Leave a Comment